Healthy married life-III = Pujya Gurudev

The secret of happy and healthy married life

=Pt. ShriRam Sharma Acharya

A husband should have strength, courage, industriousness, fearlessness, etc. and a wife should have delicacy, humility, kindness, love, modesty, sympathy etc. If both have proper ratio of their individual qualities in their nature then love, faith, intimacy, etc continue getting more and more refined and happy intimacy in married life goes on increasing day by day. It is in such families that virtuous children are born and by them social and national life becomes happy and progressive. Hence it is the basic duty of every couple to sanctify married life by becoming ideal soul mates. 
This duty should be considered paramount. Contempt is contradictory to progress and happiness. Generally everybody is prone to make minor mistakes. To snub, scold, curse, disgrace and abuse ones life companion on some petty pretexts is a sign of foolishness, which leads to disharmony, distress, and sometimes disintegration of family life. It MUST NOT be indulged in. 

To conclude, here are some guidelines for healthy and happy marriage as enunciated by Dr. David Goodman: 1. Praise, don't blame. You can praise a poor marriage partner into much improvement of his (her) behavior. Blame, by contrast, never made anybody any better. Be sure, that your praise is sincere. Artificial compliments boomerang. There is always something to praise in a person if you look for it  so look for it. As one of my readers expressed it, "Half a mans strength comes from what he reads in his wifes eyes." The same is, of course, true for a woman. 
2. Be faithful. The great, wonderful experience of man-woman love can be built up with only one person. There are many temptations in our present society. Fidelity is not easy. The wise, however know where their real happiness lies. When a husband and wife make good with each other physically and emotionally, they are enjoying the best that life has to offer. 

3. Make your spouse and not your children the primary object of your affection. This is not only better for your spouse; it is also better for your children. Your marriage partner can use all the love you can give him and be the better partner for it. The love that is best for your children is the overflow of your affection for each other. This creates cozy, comfortable environment for them, leaving them free to develop according to needs of their own nature. Love with liberty is best for your children. Only as we learn to modify our materialism, working to build a wholesome family rather than a large fortune, will we raise mentally healthy children. Married love and parental love go together. Unless you are happy with each other as husband and wife, you are not likely to raise happy and healthy children.

4. Put enthusiasm into your marriage  not just in spurts but everyday. "Nothing great was ever accomplished without enthusiasm. "This rule certainly applies to marriage. In the beginning, say the beautiful Platonic myth, men and women were one. But then the Gods, out of envy of their happiness, separated them. Since then each seeks his other half in order to be one again. If there is one true joy in life to compensate for its endless toil and many seeming difficulties and frustrations, it is man-woman love in marriage. Don't miss it. You have lived well if you have loved well, and you have lived poorly if you have loved poorly.

Thanks GOD, Thanks Sadguru,

Shiv Sharma