healthy married life-II; Pujya Gurudev

The secret of happy and healthy married life

=Pt. ShriRam Sharma Acharya

Usually for some period in the beginning there is so called romantic love between all husbands and wives but slowly as ego centered angularities of each other start clashing, the physical attraction between them starts decreasing and within a short time family life becomes an arena of mutual recrimination. This situation also arises because of over-indulgence in sensual pleasure. Hence there are some basic rules of relationship, which both husband and wife should strictly follow to make the relationship one of mutual respect, love and caring. Married life is a sacred union of two souls as husband and wife. There must be total commitment and loyalty in the relationship. Distrust and secretiveness creates hatred and bitterness against each other. Sometimes distrust and doubt have no basis. 

This confusion arises because of ones own weakness. Hence it is essential that husband and wife should gladly share their inmost feelings with each other so that clouds of distrust could be cleared through openhearted discussion. Sometimes feeling of indifference also creates doubt. If wife is ill or she has some trouble and husband does not show loving concern and care or if husband has some mental or physical problem and wife neglects then such situations make married life poisonous. Both must consciously nurture the relationship through mutual giving, serving, caring and loving. Marriage should become the corner stone for the edifice of all other relationships. People have a natural tendency to be happy on being praised. People praise God also to get His favors. This is what happens in prayers when Gods are praised for their divine qualities. Similarly people get hurt by criticism and condemnation. 

Therefore shower praise generously and shun criticism of your life mate. Every body has some qualities and they should be praised and applauded without any reserve. The aim should be to encourage and elevate each other through heart-warming gestures so that dormant divine qualities in both are stimulated and nurtured  making family life a heaven of happiness and joy. In this matter, husbands have greater responsibilities in comparison to wives. They should appreciate their wives for their contribution to home making, caring, cooperating in bringing up of the children. 
This fills their hearts with loving kindness and warmth. They should not criticize each other for their physical features, parents or in-laws. One should not say anything that shows more importance to someone else than his/her life companion. People are very expert in praising others before their kins but wise are they who appreciate and praise their own kins before others also. Wives should also keep in mind there financial status while expressing their desires and needs to their husbands. They should never express desires, which their husbands are unable to fulfill. Aim of emotional purification is to make husband and wife self-sacrificing, gentle and virtuous for a healthy married life. If a man has true qualities of manhood and woman of womanhood, there is no reason of unhappiness in married life. All other plans are means to develop these qualities. 

Thanks GOD, Thanks Sadguru,

Shiv Sharma